When The Going Gets Tough - reprinted from Inside Lacrosse

I recently had the honor of being invited to a NAVY SEAL pinning ceremony for the brother of one of my former players. The awarding of the TRIDENT PIN signifies the induction into one of the most elite fighting units on the planet. The ceremony was held at the Navy Special Warfare base in Coronado, California.

A mesmerizing speech was given by the Rear Admiral and Deputy Commander of the Seal units. He spoke of how all these young men had endured the most rigorous training known to all combat units. The three dozen or so recipients of the TRIDENT PIN had endured, while 300+ other candidates had somewhere along the way, dropped out and rang the iconic bell that sits center stage at the training facility. The young men that stood at attention in front of the audience had suffered over the course of six long, arduous months  some of the most brutal mental and physical training imaginable.

From what I could tell, from stories told by various senior level officials, the inductees often had little in common in terms of their backgrounds. Similarly, their diversity in height and weight gave little clue as to commonality of personality traits.

As the newly inducted Seals paraded around the audience in a ceremonial march, a few tears were shed along with the accompanying standing ovation. As each young man passed by with a resolute stare, I tried to imagine what made them tick. What drove them to choose such a unique path in life...one that is certainly filled with imminent danger at any moment's notice. I tried to imagine what type of family they came from, were they athletes in college or high school? Did they seek this path early in life, or did they simply decide to pursue this life based on the desire to serve this great country at the highest level?

There were no visible clues to any of my questions other than the fact that they were all in superior physical shape. I can only guess that each young man had learned to conquer fear at its apex. They somewhere along their path in life decided that failure was not an option. Success in their mind was synonymous with dedication to striving to be the very best. As was emphatically stated by their Commander, "Failure in your new world is simply not an option."

In the loosely parallel world of athletic competition, athletes who succeed where others fail internalize the same tenet that failure is not an option. The life of a high school athlete of course is in no way comparable to that of a service member, but certainly some underlying similarities exist. Success in any competitive arena demands certain intangibles that only surface as the competition and stress intensifiy. In my years of coaching and working with athletes, I have seen those that accept defeat and those that refuse to let the word enter their vocabulary. There is no in between.

We all know the kid who has superior hand- eye, a preponderance of fast twitch muscles and all the right moves...but is seemingly afraid of their own shadow. When this player is near a ground ball scrum, they wait on the peripheral edges hoping that the ball will magically roll into their stick.  When there is a transition play on lost possession, they stop hustling immediately.  When matched up against a tenacious defender, they  simply dish the ball off...no need to look bad or make a mistake.  When there is no glory to be realized, they check out letting teammates do the heavy lifting.

When the going gets tough,  he or she isn't to be found.

As easily as I can identify the type, it similarly is as easy to identify his polar opposite.  Let's refer to the opposite as Sankeys  in honor of the under sized, yet tenacious and fearless attackman at UNC,Joe Sankey.

The Sankeys are the kids who have the skill to play at the next level, but work tirelessly at raising their level of play day in, day out. The Sankeys push through fatigue and pain. Their mind set dictates perseverance. They offer no excuses for mistakes. They expect to dominate every time they step on the field. They need very little coaching because they listen so intently at practice. They demand of themselves consistent progress through sacrifice and hard work in overtime games during hot torturous summer tournaments.

When I think back on some of my former players, a certain group of Sankeys come to mind.  It is of course no coincidence that they were all highly recruited. The college coaching community came to know what these kids were made of on and off the field.

These players come from a diverse background: blue collar households, white collar households, single parent households and various regions throughout the country. There is a common denominator however; all had supportive, yet demanding parents who expected their sons to take responsibility for their success or failures on and off the field. As different and diverse as these players were, their family principles are mirror images...they are in fact interchangeable.

Ryan Walsh`s (soph attackman at Colgate) father was a fireman and first responder at World Trade.  Scott Rodger`s (former Notre Dame All American goalie) dad was a corrections officer. Nick Tintle's (former All American middie at UNC) dad was a carpenter. These are no nonsense households where hard work and accountability were the mantra. Although Mark Glicini and Mike Quinn (both freshmen at Yale) and Cam Lee (freshman at Dartmouth) and Tom Flibott (freshman at Bucknell) all come from white collar households, their work ethic and demands from their parents were no less intense. It is no surprise that all these freshmen had an impact in their first year at the D1 level. Both Dave and Dan DiMaria (Dave attack man at Lehigh and Dan, pole at Harvard/Duke) have parents who tolerate nothing other than 100% intensity. Both boys learned early on not to ever consider offering up excuses to Joe DiMaria.

John Glynn (former All American middie at Cornell) had a supportive and demanding mom. Same with Adam Ghittleman (former All American goalie at U.V.A.) Both moms took an active role in the paths that led their son to great success in college lacrosse.

Then there is Sam Finney (freshman pole at West Point) a tough Texas kid raised by fiercely patriotic parents who demand leadership traits in their children (Sam`s brother was the proud recipient of the Trident Pin ceremony that I attended).

One other common denominator amongst all these highly motivated athletes was they were all good students. Do you see a pattern here?

Just think about it for a second...when a college coach calls a high school or club coach about a respective recruit, he is beyond the point of concerning himself with the player`s skill set. The coach is likely seeking information on the make-up of the player. He is trying to ascertain if the athlete is willing to sacrifice and meet the intense mental and physical demands at the next level.

Now contrast this group with the weak recruit who always makes excuses for poor play...and is the first one to blame teammates for mistakes. They can often be found sulking at practice.  And not surprisingly, the parents are right there to make excuses.. They are quick to blame poor play on the refs or opposing players or the brand new $300 gloves. The endless excuses and lack of accountability are a predictable refrain.

In this fiercely competitive recruiting environment, players who display tenacity on the brutal tournament circuit will likely gain that competitive edge as depth charts are whittled down. Coaches are very keen observers from those beach chairs they station on the sidelines at recruiting events. Trust me, very little escapes their eyes. They don't have the luxury of relying upon a Wunderlich test. Actions on the field, with or without the ball, certainly speak louder than any words or excuses a parent or coach care to offer to explain away inconsistency. In effect, there are very few second chances now in this talent laden world of high school athletes.

I remember a quote from coach Starsia from U.V.A. who alluded to  "wanting to see a player in the fourth quarter when fatigue is setting in, rather than the first quarter when everyone is fresh."

So, tell your athlete to treat each practice and tournament as if the coaches from their top ten schools are right there on the sidelines in their beach chairs. Tell him or her to practice like John Glynn or Ryan Walsh or Mark Glicini. The rewards will come on the field. The Sankeys will be on their way to making their parents proud EARNING time on the field  as their names flashe across the screen on ESPN.

  

st Recruiting Consulting