Spring is in the air. You
can smell the freshly cut grass surrounding the field. The sun is strong enough
to allow you to take your jacket off. You and your wife walk along the bleachers
and find a spot down in front. You turn and acknowledge other parents who you
have become close with through this great game of lacrosse. You grab your wife’s
hand as you soak it all in. You watch your son doing line drills. You notice how
quick he has become. You notice the crispness of his passes. Your wife comments
on how big he looks in his uniform noting that all the weight training seems to
be transforming his body. Yes... he is growing up... and how proud you are of
his determination. "What a great day," you think to
yourself.
And then… in the distance,
you hear it. That unmistakable, ever so annoying voice of Mr. Testosterone Bomb
Dad. You loathe the fact that he is an annoyance at every game. You have heard
him carry on about how his equity portfolio has outperformed the S&P every
year and of course he has taken less risk. You have heard him chime about the
incredible deal he got on his new Range Rover Sport. He drolls on endlessly
about his new beach house and the unbelievable APR he got on his mortgage. And
of course you have to listen to him bore all the other parents about his recent
golf game at his oh so exclusive club. But today is a new topic...he is now ever
so loudly talking about his son. He states that everyone is recruiting his
son…UNC, Maryland, Duke, UVA, Notre Dame are all after his son. He says to no
one in particular, “We will probably want to see what the Ivies say before we
jump,” and then he says, “We just had his growth plates checked, and the doctor
says he will probably be 6’3." In fact he continues, “Our club coach says he is
the best athlete he has ever coached." Blah, blah,
blah…
You so wish this guy would
shut up! Doesn’t he know what a jerk he is? Why do you have to hear this crap
every time he parks himself in the stands? You start to dream up ways to shut
him up. Hesitatingly, you imagine reaching into your pocket and taking out the
Power Bar you brought and just winging it at his head. Of course you wouldn’t,
but it sure would be a way to shut him up...at least temporarily. You grit your
teeth and mutter under your breath “What a jerk.” Your wife says, ” Just calm
down, ignore him and enjoy the game. He is proud of his son just like we
are.”
Yet, your pugilistic nature
still has your hand itching to grab that Power Bar. So… you listen to your
wife…. just in time to see your son pull off a great split dodge and release a
laser right at the goal. You think to yourself that maybe the $300 you shelled
out for those new super gloves he had to have may have been worth it. Mr.
Testosterone aside, you think to yourself that there is no place you would
rather be than at his game on this beautiful day. Well, Mr. Testosterone may rule the bleachers at local
high school or club games, but his bloviating will give him little sway when he
tries to pull this crap when he speaks to college coaches about their supposed
interest in his son.
See, the one thing Mr. T.
will likely overlook is, that although his son may be a very good player, he
will not be the most important thing on that coach’s mind when they speak. The
coach is likely to have spoken to a dozen parents and/or recruits that week.
Yet, Mr. T is so self-absorbed that the he would never come to think that the
coach may just be dealing with other important issues in his life. Maybe the
coach is trying to re-finance his home, or he may e wishing he could catch his
son or daughter’s rec game or he is dealing with an assistant coach who is
complaining about his low pay or that his best middie is dealing with academic
issues or he is being badgered by an alumni who wants to know why his business
partner's son is not being recruited. Or maybe the parent of a player is ill.
All these things fall at his feet: coach , administrator, recruiter, confidant,
parent all rolled into one.
The pressures that coaches
face on a daily basis are not unlike anyone else's in the workforce. Everything
and everyone demands attention seemingly at the same time. As the game expands
and the recruiting time lines compress, more and more pressure is brought to
bear on a coach and his staff to juggle numerous variables. This is now a high
pressured job with national exposure and high end expectations to
produce.
So let Mr. Testosterone
drone on to a well-known college coach about how his son is the next coming of
Rabil, Bitter, Seibald , Danowski and C.J. Costabile all rolled into one. He
will surely lose the interest of the coach in the first two minutes of the call.
Coaches have a saying, “Recruit the player, suffer the
parent."
In today’s day and age of
tremendous talent spread out all over the country, coaches have the luxury of
not having to reach for talent. As good as Mr. Testosterone`s son may be, there
are 25 more players like him to be found in Dallas, San Diego, Orlando or
Chicago. The coach knows he will see more than enough talent at Nike Blue Chip
or Maverick or at the Brine Shootout or at the Hotbeds All Star Game. They will
find another comparable player on the Green Turtles, or Black Wolf or Express or
Dukes, or West Coast Starz. He can catch a Garden City or Manhasset game and
view numerous skilled, team oriented college level
players.
Finding talent is not the
issue…finding compatible talent is . Mr. Testosterone will either drive the
coach away from his son, or likely have the coach give pause to moving his son
up the recruiting depth chart.
So in this competitive
environment, how do you approach a coach, who does, in fact, potentially control
your son getting a slot at a great academic institution? You don’t need to be a
master at neurolinguistic programming to handle this call effectively. When
you get a coach on the phone, simply state the facts about your son. Stress his
academic achievement and your family’s interest in your son getting a great
education. Your ultimate goal should be to facilitate an unofficial visit to the
school. Don’t get into a sales mode. Simple, basic information up front, all
along being respectful of the coach’s time. Remember, this is not a marketing
call...this is a gathering of pertinent facts call so the coach can form a basic
understanding of you and your family. If there is interest, the coach will
likely give you the additional time to share more information. If your son is
legit , and he has the appropriate academic profile, then maybe the interest
level will accelerate. Make no mistake about it, no degree of boasting or
running on about how your son is the star or his elite club team is going to
sway a coach. They don’t necessarily care who you know or how you think your son
is better than another player who already committed. Your six degrees of
separation to the former Athletic director or a former All American at the
school will hold no substantive value as it relates to your
son.
Either they want your son
based purely on his lax and academic skills or they don’t. They will, if they
choose, vet your son on the circuit or scrutinize his high light reel and then
watch him a second or third time. Showing the coach respect on the phone will
leave the impression that you are not an overbearing parent. Let the coach
decide based on your call, that your son is one that they just might devote more
time getting to know. Mission accomplished.
Now, back to the game….you
are now at half time. Your son is having a good game, 2 goals, 2 assists so far.
But of course, Mr. Testosterone is still droning on. Now he is talking about his
college lacrosse career, and he segues right into how he can still run a 7
minute mile. And he states that he just had his body fat tested ,and he’s down
to single digits.
You notice that your wife
is starting to get annoyed. She rolls her eyes. You see her reach into her
pocketbook, and you notice she has a cinnamon apple Power Bar in her hand. You
see her move her body in a sight line toward Mr. T…. and you think…. maybe she
is going to do it, nail this guy. She raises her arm up... ("Oh man this is
going to be good ," you think to yourself) she turns, raises up her hand with
the Power Bar in it and....she simply waves to the parents of another player
whose son is having a great game of defense. She yells out congratulations to
them on how well their son is playing. She turns to you and thanks you for
stocking up on Power Bars on your recent trip to Costco. She says they came in
handy today since she worked through lunch to make the game. You think to
yourself, “Honey, if you only knew." You decide that before the next game, you
will stop and get get a protein shake and leave the Power Bar at home. No need
to tempt fate
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