Recruiting 101: The Arrival of The First Recruiting Letter

The letter arrives from a school that your son told you is his dream school. You dare not open it.  You, instead, hand it to him when he arrives home from school. You watch as his eyes light up and you know this is the beginning of something. You are just not sure what. Your son insists that the coach must really want him since he took the time to write him a letter. 

 

IS THIS IN FACT TRUE? Did he write other kids and if so how many. How would you know? So what do you do next? Do you call the coach?  Do you schedule a visit? Will he call us? The questions go on and on and on.

 

The simple fact of the matter is that you can read very little into that first letter. Coaches cast a wide net in the first few phases of the recruiting cycle. That letter may, in fact, be the first and last time your son ever hears from that particular coach. 

 

Think about it... if he has not seen your son's transcripts or his standardized test scores;  if you have not visited the school;  if he has no knowledge of your financial needs, can it be anything other than preliminary?

 

 There is a great divide between that letter or any kind of correspondence and an eventual offer of THE MUCH COVETED  'Slot."  Much in the way of confusing information may come your way before your son ascends to that final spot on a recruiting board in a coach's office. It is the nature of the beast.

 

So...how do you treat these letters or email? Is there some formula you can apply.?..say for instance...three letters mean real interest...or three letters and a call means a greater degree of interest? My experience has been that you have to become good at reading tea leaves. 

 

 

What Should You Do?  

 

Do your best at ascertaining from the coach the following: 

** Is my son a top recruit in your mind?

** When and where did you see him play?

** Are you aware of his academic profile?

** Will you be inviting him to a Junior Day visit? Or an official visit?

** How many players at his position will you be recruiting this year?

** How many players do you intend to bring in from his graduating class?

 

By asking these simple and direct questions, you, as a parent, will have established a dialogue and hopefully ascertained how much interest , if any, really exists. Here is the challenge. The impression you are left with, either good or bad, is a moving target based on the coach's success with the other athletes, who, in fact, received that same letter. One week your son may be number three on the recruit depth chart and the next week he could be number six and fading fast. The change will not necessarily be communicated to you, and the coach has absolutely no obligation to do so.

 

 In fact, why would he? He is fighting a similar battle ON MULTIPLE FRONTS. Recruits and parents are often intentionally vague with coaches about their intention and level of interest all the time. Remember that a coach often has to negotiate with admissions, and is often prevented from giving you the answers you may seek.  The coach's situation is no less confusing than yours. How can he gauge interest from a 17 year old who is possibly intimidated or unsure how to respond?  Would you like the coach's job? There is little clarity on either end.

 

Is this any way to begin a relationship? How and why does this incredibly inefficient system perpetuate itself? Guess what.. it is what it is. The sooner you as a parent assume that there are no guarantees and that this process will be long, confusing and drawn out, the better off you will be. Remember, you are your son's advocate. 

 

Commit to taking an active role in following all communications your son receives. And whether or not he likes it, you better get involved. If not, you run the risk of setting him up for heartache and confusion.  

 

Some of the inevitable confusion can be avoided by setting up a family email account dedicated to all lacrosse correspondence so everyone in the family has access. This will facilitate a team effort at home with your son taking an ACTIVE ROLE. THIS IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH AN AUTONOMOUS ROLE.  Remember: you are your son's advocate. 

 

Enjoy that first letter. Let's hope it is one of many, and let's hope you apply a bit of pragmatism with a bit of wishful thinking about how happy your son should be when this is all over.